“Jill’s” story continues this summer…
“Jill” is one of 22 InterVarsity students participating in our CityLights Summer Internship in inner-city St. Louis. She had participated in our March 08 CityLights Spring Break plunge (1 week) as a non-Christian, openly expressing her skepticism and doubts. After that week, she decided to return this summer, as she reflected:
“My quest toward relying on Christ started only four days ago. I’m on a long journey to see what grace looks like and how to accept God’s forgiveness for my messy insides. One step at a time, I want to learn what mercy is and how to love. I’m not ashamed to say that I am a fledgling Christian. I’m not ashamed to say that I still have doubts and I’m scared to death of trusting God with all I’ve got. I’m not ashamed to say I have wounds so deep that I struggle with the concept of God healing them. However, I am ashamed to say I’ve waited this long in my life to start addressing the issues of my heart. I am ashamed to admit that for years I turned a blind eye to God’s love because I yearned for the love of this world more. But beyond my shame or the lack thereof, these past four days have been a wonderful mess.
“Through CityLights Spring Break, I began friendships with strangers that have blessed me and challenged me more than I’ve ever been blessed or challenged. Through conversation and observation I have seen God move among screwed up people and unanswered questions. I’ve seen beauty in the midst of broken lives. I’ve wrestled with my own demons and learned that being a Christian is not a loner lifestyle. I hope I never stop learning and seeking after the truth… I can’t explain the persistent, nagging itch in my stomach that draws me to St Louis. I can’t explain why I think I’ll flourish in this community or why I think I have something to offer. I just know that I’m supposed to be there. I trust that God can use my mess to help this summer.”
Please pray for “Jill” and the 21 other students serving in inner-city St. Louis this summer. CityLights is one of dozens of InterVarsity Urban Projects across the country.
